"BUT I LOVE HIM"; Protecting Your Teen Daughter From Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationsips

I wrote this book for many different reasons. The most important one came from the domestic violence shelter at which I worked for two years. In counselling more than 200 women, I found that each of them shared the same story: they began their abusive dating relationships while they were in high school. After going through multiple abusive relationships, having children with their abusers, being emotionally and/or physically beaten down, and having to leave their home and belongings, they still didn't know what the warning signs of an abuser were, or how they became involved with them in the first place.

On a personal level, I also have two teenagers�boy/girl twins�and like all moms wanted to help create a safer, healthier world for them.

I began lecturing to high school students in my children's school district. Word quickly spread about these presentations and I was asked to speak to other schools across my state of California. Soon, newspaper articles were written about my presentations, and I appeared on "Oprah", "Leeza", and many other TV and radio programs. Parents around the country and in Canada began e-mailing me with horrifying stories about their daughter's abusive boyfriends. They were desperate to get help for them. Strangely enough, very few teens contacted me about this problem, so I decided that my book would be geared to parents, although teens can certainly get great benefit from reading it as well.

I have found that girls can be just as abusive as boys, however in different ways, so be assured that this isn't a male-bashing book. As a matter of fact, I have written a chapter about girls abusing boys.

In "But I Love Him," I talk about a variety of subjects:

  • defining the four types of dating abuse,
  • how to recognize abusive relationships,
  • how to spot a potential abuser,
  • why teens choose abusive relationships,
  • family dynamics and the ways in which they play a strong role in abusive relationships,
  • the role of alcohol and drugs,
  • the difference between infatuation, addictive, and mature love,
  • why teens don't tell their parents about their unhealthy relationships,
  • various interventions, and most importantly, how to talk to your teen about this subject so s/he will listen to you.
  • It also includes an extensive resouces chapter, so that you can get help right now.
  • Various quizes and checklists are included, so that parents and teens can all clearly see what they are facing.

    If you are interested in finding out more about my book, and starting on the road to healthier family and dating relationships, I invite you to look at the links to internet booksellers I have provided that will ship "But I Love Him" to your home today on my Links Page

    Please feel free to contact me about your relationship questions and concerns at [email protected]. Also, visit the rest of this website, in which I have a weekly topic, message boards, and a list of appearances so that you can learn more about this subject.

    Until we speak again, take good care of yourself.

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