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But He Never Hit Me
The Devastating Cost of
Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women

"This is definitely the most important self-help book I've ever read. It spoke directly to me in a compassionate and clear way, while also giving me directions for looking at my relationship problems and cleaning them up. Before I read But He Never Hit Me, I didn't even know I had these difficulties; I just knew that I wasn't really happy with my life. This book spoke to me in a very profound way. I read a lot of books, for my profession, every year and But He Never Hit Me is by far the best I've had the pleasure to read. This book will stay with me for a long time."

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"I just finished reading, Destructive Relationships, and I can't believe how much it's opened my eyes to how I was conducting my life and all the unhealthy relationships I had!  I knew I was unhappy and couldn't figure out why my life and relationships weren't working. Now I understand completely. 

I feel so empowered now and confident about my future. I've already started making positive changes. I just don't know how to thank you enough!"

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"Your book, But I Love Him" literally saved my daughter's life.  She was dating an abusive boy for nearly 2 years. He was very controlling and had recently introduced her to drugs and a depraved lifestyle. She ran away with him twice. We tried everything and didn't know how to get through to her.  We read your book and started talking to her differently and looking at our part in the relationship.  We started seeing small changes in the way she behaved toward us.  We finally gave her the book to read. She was initially resistent but then read it all in one night, highlighting it as she went.  She broke up with him less than 2 weeks later.  You and your book have been a miracle in our lives. We can't thank you enough for the work you do and for saving our daughter's life and our relationship with her."

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Teen Dating Abuse Expert Discusses Solutions to Milwaukee's Teen Pregnancy and Sexual Violence Problems

Dr. Jill Murray, a leading national authority on teenage abusive dating relationships, visited Milwaukee on Monday, November 1 and addressed women philanthropists at United Way of Greater Milwaukee's Women's Initiative Fall Event - "Healthy Girls Matter." Dr. Murray's keynote address was centered on what matters most - protecting young girls from sexual violence and abusive dating relationships and why the Greater Milwaukee community should take action. Joining Dr. Murray on the podium was Milwaukee Chief of Police Nannette H. Hegarty. Chief Hegarty spoke about her work in sensitive crimes, and how skyrocketing rates of teen pregnancy and sexual violence have affected the community from a law enforcement viewpoint.

Dr. Murray is a highly sought-after guest lecturer at conferences across the country and in Canada. She has appeared on more than 200 television shows, including Oprah, Montel, Leeza, John Walsh and Dr. Laura. Her first book, But I Love Him - Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships, was written at the suggestion of Oprah Winfrey and has become the influential book to parents, teens and those who work with children on the subject of teen dating relationships.

After her keynote address, Dr. Murray spent the afternoon at Sarah Scott Middle School for the Health Sciences, 1017 N. 12th Street, Milwaukee, talking to teens about abusive relationships and sexual violence. Nationally, she speaks to more than 100,000 teens and their parents each year on the subject of dating relationships.

The Healthy Girls Project, the signature project of the Women's Initiative, supports proven programs that address the two most critical issues facing girls in Milwaukee: teen pregnancy and sexual violence against girls. Compared with the 50 largest cities in the U.S., Milwaukee has the second highest rate of teen pregnancy over all and the highest rate among African Americans. Forty-two percent of girls younger than 15 years reported their first sexual encounter was nonconsensual. More than one in seven high school girls report being forced, either physically or verbally, to take part in sexual activity.

Aurora Health Care, a nationally recognized leader and preferred provider of women's health services in Eastern Wisconsin hosted the event at the Aurora Women's Pavilion, 8901 West Lincoln Avenue, West Allis. For the 2004 United Way Community Campaign, Aurora Health Care will match all dollars designated to the Healthy Girls Project, as well as new and increased dollars from members of the Women's Initiative, up to $50,000.

United Way's Women's Initiative offers women opportunities to strengthen our community through focused investment of time, talent and financial resources. Women who give a United Way leadership gift of $1200 or more, or are partners in a joint gift of $2400 or more are invited to be members of the Women's Initiative.

United Way of Greater Milwaukee invests in what matters most, improving lives. United Way multiplies the impact individuals have to make a difference by bringing together the financial and human resources of the whole community.


copyright (c) 2005 United Way

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© 2005 by Jill Murray. All rights reserved. The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any techniques as forms of treatment for physical or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book or on this website for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.