Sometimes, it’s difficult to know whether our relationships are healthy and nurturing or not.  Oftentimes, what we think of as healthy is merely “normal” for us.  That doesn’t necessarily mean that it feeds your spirit, however.

Women and men who have experienced a series of abusive relationships often find themselves re-creating those relationships over and over…even if they are only fifteen years old. 

Take this quiz to determine if your relationship is abusive.  While many of these questions appear to have a “right” or “wrong” answer, be completely honest with yourself and then compare your responses with my explanations at the end of the quiz.

1. My partner frequently calls me names, such as “bitch”, “crazy”, “stupid”, or “demented.” 

 True           False

2. I find myself apologizing to my partner for things I’ve never done just to get the relationship back on a good footing. 

 True           False

3. My partner makes fun of me or calls me demeaning names and then tells me that I’m “too sensitive”, “too emotional”, or that he was “just kidding” when my feelings are hurt.

 True           False

4. While I’ve been in this relationship, I’ve cried more than usual.

 True           False

5. My partner has told me what styles of clothes or makeup to wear.

 True           False

6. (Answer this question if you are living with your partner) When I buy new clothing or shoes, I take the price tags off immediately or hide them in my closet so that my partner doesn’t know I’ve purchased them.

 True           False

7. Do you have fewer interactions with your friends and family members since you’ve been with your partner?

 True           False

8. (Answer this question if you are living with your partner) My partner has control of the money in our household.  Even if I work, my partner takes my paycheck and doles out money to me. 

 True           False

9. (Answer this question if you are living with your partner)  My name is listed as an equal partner on the title of our house and cars, we have a joint bank account, and I have total knowledge of our financial situation.

 True           False

10. I tell “little white lies” to my partner to avoid telling him where I am, what I’m doing, or who I’m with.

 True           False

Print this page and then click here to see what your answers tell you about your relationship.

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© 2005 by Jill Murray. All rights reserved. The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any techniques as forms of treatment for physical or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book or on this website for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.